Thursday, December 21, 2006

Disaster Magnet (Part Whatever...)

Okay, I really can't help this, I don't do anything to bring it on myself, I swear. It's just that life seems to line up this way. And it's fun to tell you all about it...after the fact.

So anyway, my son was trying out for a part in Fiddler on the Roof. This happens to be one of my favorite musicals so I was talking with him about it and I mentioned the Russian dance at one point in the movie version at least. Umm, this part IS my fault. I decided, with years since the last time I'd done the dance and in winter when my joints are not at their best, I would demonstrate it :). Needless to say, I did a piss-poor job and ended up with a very sore knee.

Years ago, I twinged my knee and ignored it until the inflammation was so bad I had to go around in a wheelchair for almost 2 months. This time, I was going to be smart. But my flexible brace was missing. Turns out my husband had thought, just a day before, that he would use it in a skit he was doing at work. After all, I hadn't used it in 7? 10? years? So what was the likelihood I'd need it then? Sigh. He forgot to factor in Fiddler ;).

So anyway, he brought it back home and I wore it on and off for a number of days, determined to be smart and careful.

Then I had some submissions to mail.

My husband's car is an automatic, so I asked him to switch, but our garage is very tight. After all the trouble getting into the car with the brace on, I parked it a bit wider than usual so I could get out. This meant when he parked my car next to it, he parked the car a bit wider than usual as well.

Then, when he brought the garbage can in on Monday, he didn't put it in snug, something that shouldn't have been an issue, but...

So anyway, I had more submissions to make. I asked him to leave his car, just to be cautious, but he forgot.

No problem. I wasn't needing the brace anymore, so I should be fine in the stick.

And then I backed up.

My side-view mirror hit the garbage can with the weight of a backing car.

I drove forward and swerved wider to get past it, annoyed but no biggie.

Ah, there's the failure point.

It turned out the momentum of the car had shifted the can enough so that it blocked the garage door sensor.

No problem, got out and shifted it.

The garage door still won't close.

(Just an aside for those of you who don't know, I live in a winter place now. There's snow on the ground and it isn't melting all that much in the heat of day. It was early morning because I wanted to miss the crowds. My car doesn't have a thermometer, but just two days before, when hubby went to work (about two hours earlier than the current time) it had been nine degrees. And that's not Celsius.)

So I clear the cobwebs off the sensor and try again. This time even holding the button for a manual override doesn't work. And the door makes funny noises.

I go back to look more carefully.

The car had indeed pushed the can. Hard enough to twist the rail of the garage door. So getting it closed? Just not going to happen.

I go looking for pliers. End up with a hammer and a metal clamp.

Small detail. I'm not as strong as a car. I can get it to budge a little, but not back to straight.

Still, it looks close.

I push the button.

It goes around the top curve and jars to a halt, then runs back.

I go take another look.

Hmm, it's not just bent a little. From my new angle, it's bent at least 2 inches.

And if that isn't enough, I look above me and the door now has one guide wheel hanging loose and another coming out.


I call hubby. Explain, and ask for suggestions. He has none. Plans to come home.

While waiting, I try to address the weight issue.

Figured out the perfect solution. Jam something between the rail and the wall to force it back into place. Only the only thing I had that was strong enough is about a half an inch too wide. BAH!

Searched for something of the right size then jammed it in there anyway, put the wheels back on the rail, and lowered the darn thing manually. Then called hubby, said no parking in the garage, but for now, it's set. Couldn't very well leave it open. The heater would have frozen :).

The good news is that I came through all of this with only a blood blister on my pinky (of course on the typing edge :p) and didn't get frostbite after warming up running around with a hammer :).

I couldn't put these circumstances together if I tried. It's a domino effect that only the fates, and a certain ancient Chinese curse, could manage. But at least it makes for an amusing blog post :).

Oh, and yes, I did get to the Post Office and my knee held up nicely :).

Welcome to my world. Stay at your own risk. I don't think it's infectious.

Epilogue in two parts:

Part 1 -

Hubby got home and, with the assistance of a monkey wrench, ratcheting bolt driver, and axe, we got the bracket back to mostly straight. But the rail was still off kilter. Back went the crate as a brace. Door's working okay, but we'll replace the bracket just in case. At least we come out of it in a pretty good position. Even life in suburbia has its adventures.

Part 2 -

I now understand why this keeps happening to me. It's not that I'm's genetic ;). I'll leave it to my dad if he's willing to explain in the credits. Suffice it to say, he sent me an email describing what would have been implausible on an Abbott and Costello routine :).


Anonymous said...

It's not always reassuring to know something's genetic. I'm glad the whole door didn't fall down on you and the car -- and that you didn't do structural damage to the garage.


Margaret said...

Thanks Jean. Yes, when I consider the possibilities, I am stunned at how lucky I am when being unlucky. Though I can tell you my shoulders are darn sore today :).


Dad said...

As Requested
I was appearing in the annual fund-raiser for Deirdre’s Theatre Group ( playing MacElf in MacElf ( an Xmas re-write of Shakespeare’s Scottish Play.) On closing night, an impassioned MacElf, confronting the ghost of Banki, took a dramatic step backward (it should have been a short, dramatic step) and fell ass-over-teakettle off the side of the stage, tearing down a curtain and landing on the floor 3 or 4 feet below. One of my hands hit a box containing a bottle of stage-blood, sending it flying over the asst. stage manager who was standing frozen in shock. I managed to tuck my head, avoiding a (worse) shock, and arose to my feet, leapt back onstage to see Lady MacElf and MacD sitting staring in shock at the place I had disappeared, and delivered my next line. Apparently, nobody in the audience who had not seen the play before were aware there had been an accident. The show must go on! Meanwhile, the stage manager and actors had run around the back of the stage to help me, and arrived to see me disappear back on stage and the asst. manager standing covered in blood - which they presumed was mine. I was a bit in shock, but managed to complete the play, then was persuaded to go home and soak my ...... in ice. Meanwhile, the story of my cracking my head open, bleeding all over the asst stage manager, and rising from the dead to resume the play was being whispered from one person to another. Thank God it was closing night, and I had an appointment with both my chiropractor and massage therapist scheduled for just after the swelling went down. McGaffey the Invincible rides again.

Valerie Comer said...

Glad to hear both Daughter and Dad are recovering nicely. While providing entertainment to the world at large. Which is laughing.

Margaret said...

Yeah, well, you can see I come by this naturally :).

Thanks for the retelling, Dad.

And Val, after my arms stopped aching quite so much, and before I read Jean's comment and realized how much danger I was actually in, I was laughing too :D.